Just when you thought dating couldn’t get any harder, online dating’s latest craze, exclusive dating apps, is starting to take the ‘net by storm. Jasmine Diaz, a Los Angeles-based celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, is here to tell all on why you should swipe LEFT to these members-only apps.
With all the new exclusive dating apps out there, the dating landscape is headed for a major change, but we’re not exactly sure if it’s a positive one. Dating apps like Raya and Tinder Select certainly make for great table conversation, because once you’ve made it in the “in” crowd, you’ve officially become “special.” But what exactly does that say about those who don’t pass go and collect that figurative $200? And what about those who are on the list but still can’t land Mr(s). Right?
While the concept, in theory, sounds nice (because who doesn’t love the idea of running into a very single Trevor Noah, exclusive dating apps are simply not a good idea. Here’s a few reasons why:
#1 They reinforce all the negative things we think about our single selves.
“You’re not good enough, attractive enough or successful enough to find a partner.” Do those words sound familiar?
Picture this: You’re excited to visit this new local hotspot, but the hostess confronts you at the door and says, “You’re not creative enough to mingle with Beyoncé.” Exclusive dating apps, for those who don’t qualify, suggest that you’re not worth being in a relationship with and that’s the wrong message to be sending to any dater.
Singles need more positive affirmation to keep their head in the game, but when an app suggests that you’re not even good enough to swipe left on, it’s a major blow to one’s confidence.
#2 Finding authentic people will become harder.
The shroud of secrecy surrounding membership in these clubs has created a desire to be on the “list.” And while this secrecy is certainly proving to be a public relations dream, it doesn’t make finding great people any better. In fact, it’s likely more difficult.
Instead of fostering new relationships with likeminded people; people who are genuinely seeking a serious committed relationship, members will now have to worry about their prospective matches’ motivations (as if that wasn’t something they already had to worry about). Add to the fact that most of these members are high-profile personalities, now finding someone who likes you for you has become an even bigger guessing game.
Trying to determine if someone is interested in you and not your Instagram or Twitter followers, is a new reality that likely wouldn’t occur quite as easily on any other dating app. And if followers are not what they seek, one now has to wonder if they’re in it simply for the FOMO.
#3 They suck the joy out of dating
When singles on exclusive apps realize that their chances of finding a partner are no better than the next random guy, don’t think they’ll be lining up to try another app. If you still can't find a partner with the rich and famous, then who's left? What other options are available? And what does that say about your match-ability? Does this mean you are undesirable because you were unable to find “the one?”
On the surface, these apps appear to be a new and innovative way to meet compatible singles, but they are a gateway to pessimism. Singles need some level of hope or optimism to overcome the bad dates and general disappointments, but when the “holy grail of dating” doesn’t produce results, you are left wondering, “What’s next?"
About Jasmine Diaz:
Jasmine Diaz is a celebrity matchmaker, author and dating strategist with over 15 years experience helping high-profile celebrities, athletes and business professionals from across the United States. Determined to be more than just “a matchmaker,” Jasmine has quickly become a go-to dating expert and television personality with appearances on “TD Jakes Show,” “The Raw Word,” “For Peete Sake,” “Big Girls Club,” “LisaRaye: The Real McCoy,” Fox News, “The Loving Story,” and “Need Love Will Travel.” Jasmine resides in Los Angeles with husband Eddie and son Gray.